Blind Date
by MistakenIllusion
Summary: AU. It's not a blind date until you're actually blindfolded. But then again, some may class that as kidnapping.


**Blind Date**

_Does exactly what it says on the tin. For normal people. But this is _Sakura Haruno_ we're dealing with._

* * *

The thick scarf is draped over my eyes, and tied in a double-knot at the back of my head. Everything goes black.

But my other senses sharpen.

I feel the silkiness of the material against my skin. Hear the muffled sound of breathing. Smell the air tinged with almonds and pine.

A warm rough hand grips mine, and I'm guided towards the smell of coffee and cupcakes. The sweetness of it makes me smile. I know which cafe we're in straight away. It's my favourite.

'You have good taste,' I remark approvingly, when I sit down. I don't know which way I should be facing, so I keep my head upright and speak to whoever's directly in front of me. And hope for the best.

'I'm glad you approve.' The tone of his voice is higher at the end of his sentence, like it's accompanied by a small smile.

'Can you untie my blindfold? I won't tell. It'll be our secret.'

A quiet chuckle. A rustle, which I take for a shaking or nodding of the head. I hope for the latter.

'No way. You know the rules, Haruno.'

I _know _that deep voice from somewhere. It's smooth and rich – like chocolate.

_Mmm...chocolate..._

'Stupid blonde, bi –'

'I'm sure Ino would love you forever if you finish that sentence.' It sounds like I'm amusing him more and more by the second.

'Serves her right for always trying to set me up.' Though I feel a slight twinge of guilt when I dish the dirt. As insane as she is, you can't deny that her heart's in the right place.

Another chuckle. I can't tell if this guy agrees with me or not. Clearly, I haven't been blind long enough to develop a sixth sense.

And I _really _want to know who he is, without having to resort to something creepy like feeling around for his face.

'Even then, I bet you still wouldn't get it.'

I try to ignore how weird it is – that this guy can read my mind, just like that. He must be someone I know really well. Or someone that's been stalking me. I hope for the former.

'Is that a challenge?' I could never resist one.

And I swear, the weirdest thing happens. I can almost _hear _a smirk forming.

'How about we make a deal, Sakura?'

I'm all ears.

'If you guess correctly, I'll take off the blindfold.'

I lean back into my chair, unimpressed. 'That doesn't really sound like much of a deal. If I know who you are, I'll already know what you look like.'

'Ah, but you'll have the privilege of gazing upon my wonderful face.' What a shamelessly arrogant thing to say, but I think _– _I _hope –_ he's joking.

'And you'll stop missing your mouth with your fork.'

_Bloody cheek._

He laughs – not unkindly – at a smudge of strawberry sauce that's found its way onto my cheek. After several failed attempts on my part to wipe it off, he leans forward and catches it with his thumb. He's so close to me, I can feel his breath tickling my cheek.

It's warm.

So why the hell does my first instinct tell me to _tackle him to the ground?_

I hate my life.

'People are staring.'

I'm bloody glad I can't see them.

'Excuse me, miss – is there a problem?'

Oh great, now the _staff _have gotten involved. This day just gets better and better. _Quick, think of an excuse._

'No, everything's fine, thanks. I was just...demonstrating my karate moves?'

Smooth. But it shouldn't come as a shock to people who'd turn a blind eye – no pun intended – to a girl that walks in wearing a blindfold.

'I'm sorry. I hope I haven't put you off or come across as a complete nutter,' I say to the air around me. Let's hope he hasn't done a runner.

'It's alright – ouch –' his voice sounds strained '– but I do wish you'd given me some sort of warning.'

Nervous laughter follows.

'Me, organise things and plan ahead? Puh_-lease.'_

It gets worse. I'm positively _honking _with laughter now.

'Stop me, anytime.'

He covers my mouth with his hand – a brave move on his part. I manage to resist the temptation to bite it.

'Feisty one you are,' he says in a Yoda voice (_Inbetweeners _reference!), which just sets me off again. I know he can feel my laughter against his hand. I swear – for all those creationists out there – God gave me an oversized laugh box. Before he made gummy bears.

'You know, it's just occurred to me that your blindfold would make the _perfect _gag.'

I sit up, hopefully.

'I guess that's just too bad.'

I mumble something against the back of his hand.

He pulls it away. 'What was that, Sakura, dear?'

'Bastard.'

He scoffs. 'Charming. Here, let me help you up.'

I've only just realised we're still sat on the floor, which – as a medical student – I can say is _not_ very hygienic. I swear to God, if someone's old chewing gum gets stuck to my ass, I am going to _kill _Ino.

He pulls me up – he's wearing a ring on one of his fingers – and I sit back in my chair. But not by choice – I trip and fall onto it. Thank God I chose to wear jeans, or I might've ended up flashing my knickers at him, too.

_What the hell is wrong with you, brain? Why would you even say things like that?_

'The bill for you, sir?'

Oh crap, he's _paying _for me, too? Normally I'd let him, but I'm sure we can all agree it's been anything _but_ a normal evening.

'Let me pay half. It's the least I can do.' After all, he didn't get what he bargained for when he agreed to this.

'Don't be an idiot –' _bit late for that _'– you'll have to find your purse first.'

And he's right. I search my pockets in a panic – empty. There's nothing on my chair either.

Back on the floor I go.

'Get up, you crazy girl.' He sounds a bit wheezy, like he's breathless from laughing.

At me.

Again.

I slide back into the chair, hanging my head in shame.

'OK, I'm done teasing you. You left it at home.'

Oh, he is so going _down. _I swing a punch in the direction of his voice.

He catches my fist easily in his palm. And pulls it closer, dragging me with it.

And you'll never guess what he does next. He _kisses _me. Hard.

He's a damn good kisser, too. When his tongue traces the inside of my lip, my insides start to tingle. There'll be fireworks and songbirds at this rate.

When he pulls away, I'm left in a compliant daze.

'Let's get out of here.' He grabs my hand and drags me out the door. His voice is filled with a different kind of breathlessness, now. _Oh..._

The cold outside air makes my brain cells click into place.

'_Sasuke_, it is bloody freezing!'

'Took you long enough.' Once again, I can hear the smirk in his voice. Arrogant bastard.

How did I know? I haven't been kissed like_ that_ since the infamous dare game of '08. By none other than Sasuke Uchiha.

'But Sasuke, I thought you were Sasu-_gay!'_

See what I did there? Yeah, I'm brilliant.

He scoffs – I guess _he_ didn't think so.'Kiba only started that _rumour_ because he has a crush on you, too.'

_Too? _'Oh...'

'Don't be so surprised, Haruno. You're a pretty good catch in your own insane way.'

Did he just backhandedly _compliment_ me?

Silence.

I can't think of a single word to say. Luckily, I don't need to.

'Come on, I'll take you somewhere _much_ nicer...'

I swear there's a hidden suggestion in that. But we've already walked through another set of doors by the time I've figured it out.

'No Sasuke, I will _not _have blind sex with you!'

Silence.

'Uh...Sakura?'

'What?'

'I just took you to a different cafe. And people are staring at us. Again.'

_Hello, ground? This is Sakura Haruno. I want you to swallow me up, please._

He finally removes the blindfold.

There's nothing else to do. I get the hell out and _run._

* * *

'Hey, Forehead, how did your hot date go?'

'Don't ask.'

'That well, huh? Well don't worry – I have another one lined up for you, because I'm _such_ a good friend.'

Said 'friend' has _way _too much spare time. She needs to take up a hobby. Like knitting.

'_Another_ date? Not on your _life, _Pig.'

'Come on, Forehead – you _need_ a boyfriend. And there's plenty more fish in the sea, much better than that arsehole –'

Said arsehole walks into the room at that exact second.

'You'll have to tell Inuzuka that Sakura's politely declined his invitation. She's going out with _me, _tonight.'

So he _hasn't _been driven away by my – ahem – _unique _personality...

Did I mention that my life rules?

* * *

'Thank you for saving my life back there.'

'Don't be so melodramatic.'

'So I guess you're not so Sasu-gay, after all.'

'Keep calling me that and I'll never speak to you again.'

'That's mean. What about Sasu_-cakes?'_

'No.'

'Spoilsport.'

* * *

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